


hell is empty. the devils are in my own head

by AnxietyAvocado



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Pain, Unhappy Ending, just a giant pain fest okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:28:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxietyAvocado/pseuds/AnxietyAvocado
Summary: akito doesn't need to lock kyo up to torture him. he's capable of hurting himself without her help.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	hell is empty. the devils are in my own head

There was pain. Searing, sickening pain. It was white hot and overwhelming. There was nothing else in the world but this - nothing outside of this room, nothing but the sound of Akito’s voice filling his ears as he shouted curses at the Cat, nothing but that noise and the blood that he had coughed up on the floor and the bruises that were blossoming all over him. The world could have ended and Kyo wouldn’t have known or cared, because the pain wouldn’t stop. It felt as though Akito was everywhere, scratching at his face, kicking him in the stomach, sweeping his feet out from under him every time he tried to stand up, yanking his arms to pull him down to the floor. It seemed that for every fist that connected with his stomach, there was a foot slamming into his back, nails at his face, an elbow planted in his kidney or side. The beating was never ending.

Surely this was what hell was like. Akito wasn’t God, he was the devil and Kyo couldn’t escape him. 

Time both dragged on and sped up, with never enough time to breathe between kicks that bruised and broke his ribs and too much time spent in breathless agony as he choked on his own blood. As he coughed, he tried to open his eyes but found his vision was clouded over with blood and sweat. He didn’t even know where he was. How had he gotten here? Where was here? Was he at the main estate? None of that seemed to matter as a wave of panic and nausea and exhaustion crashed over him. Everything  _ hurt. _ His head was throbbing, and his mouth was coated with the slick, coppery taste of his blood. This was how he was going to die, wasn’t it? Here, curled up in a corner like a pathetic animal.  _ It’s nothing less than you deserve _ , a voice whispered from the corner of his mind. It sounded suspiciously like Akito.  _ Monster, evil beast, undeserving of life or pity, weakling, disgusting creature, mutated freak, revolting _ . The words swirled around him like a toxic mist, choking him further into submission.

And then… silence. 

It was almost as oppressive as the onslaught of pain and beatings. The lack of noise and movement seemed to stop the air, filling the room with stuffy nothingness that pressed down on his chest like a weight. With a groan and an immense amount of effort, Kyo slowly opened his eyes. There was nothing to give away his surroundings. It was so dark that he couldn’t see anything, and the pain was overwhelmed by a rush of fear. Kyo wasn’t sure if it was just dark or if Akito had blinded him like he had Hatori. Was this his punishment? To take a beating and then be disfigured for the rest of his life? Would he ever leave here, or be able to see his Master or Tohru again? That would be just like Akito, he realized resignedly. It wasn’t the beating that mattered, it was what came after. The beating was just Akito taking his anger out on you. The real punishment was what you had to live with afterward. And no one could escape punishment, especially not him.

No matter the case, he felt helpless and small, reaching out in the darkness not knowing what he might grab. When there was nothing within arms reach of where he was, Kyo decided that he would need to move. Pulling his legs and arms underneath him, Kyo tried to stand and collapsed. His limbs were shaking and slick with blood and tender from bruises that would surely paint him with splotches of black and blue. He tried again and again, nearly throwing up from the effort that it took. He couldn’t stay here, he knew that. Kyo had to find a way out. 

It felt like hours before he was able to crawl, half pulling himself across the floor. His tears and sweat mixed with the blood that seemed to coat his clothing and the floor underneath him, but he hardly noticed from the pain that shook his arms and made his stomach roil - the pain was nothing compared to his determination to be free. For hours more, he crawled across an empty floor, unrelenting in his desire to find a way out. He was exhausted by the effort of it, and more than once thought of giving up and just waiting to die. 

God, he just wanted to die. But every time he stopped, he could hear  _ her. _ Kyo could hear Tohru somewhere in the distance. Sometimes she was calling for him, sometimes it was just the sound of faraway laughter, or a faint trail of conversation. Was she here? A new kind of fear filled him as he imagined what Akito would do if he found her. Kyo felt fresh tears stream down his face, tears of frustration and anger as he pushed himself harder to find her. 

But no matter how hard he crawled, there was nothing. No walls, no windows, no break in the endless darkness of the room. Eventually, pain and fear gave way to anger. This was what Kyo knew, it was what fueled him. Curling over his knees on the ground, he beat his fists into the floor in frustration. The pain jarred him, sending bolts of lightning up his nerves and into his spine as he screamed at the fear of it, the sound echoing throughout the room. It repeated, overlapping and distorting until it sounded like the cry of a wounded animal… which he supposed he was. He yelled again, but it distorted again, sounding like he was underwater and somehow far away from himself. His heart pounded in his ears-

-and then he woke up. 

The ordinary room was a shock to his system as his eyes flew open. Kyo could feel the sweat under his back and shoulders that now made him shiver under the slowly moving breeze that came in from the open window as his chest heaved with deep breaths.

He was okay. It was okay. He was home, with Tohru. They were safe. Kyo’s body began to shake as the realization brought him slowly down to earth and the nervous energy that had propelled him in his sleep slowly left him. 

Turning on his side, Kyo saw Tohru sleeping peacefully beside him. With a sigh of relief, he watched her for a few moments, unwilling to take his eyes off of her even now that the worst was over. He stayed like that for as long as he could, watching the rise and fall of her chest, studying the curve of her throat and shoulder, how her hair was coming out of the bun she had put it in that night. He would never, ever tire of the sight of her, he realized. Kyo could spend the rest of his life studying this miraculous girl and still find things to surprise him. He supposed it was a good thing he had a lifetime with her to prove the theory right. 

As if she could feel the weight of his gaze, Tohru slowly opened her eyes and looked at him, surprisingly unsurprised by the sight of him watching her protectively, even though she was as likely to hurt herself in her current position as she was likely to grow wings and fly away. 

“Another dream?” she asked, the tail end of the question nearly swallowed up by a yawn. 

Kyo nodded, unwilling to speak and break the fragile calm that he had built up since waking. His eyes seemed to speak for him, though, because she reached out and pushed his sweaty hair out of his eyes and smiled gently. 

"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you,” Tohru whispered. 

God, this was why he loved her so much. She knew exactly how to reach the dark corners that he was afraid of looking at, the fears and shortcomings he couldn’t name. She knew that he was more afraid of Akito and his power than he was of almost anything else - because that power could tear them apart in an instant. They had escaped so far, avoiding the family’s attention and maintaining this small life of peace and happiness. They were together, he repeated. Together and safe. Nothing could hurt them, hurt  _ her. _

Without another word, Kyo pulled Tohru closer, breathing in the scent of her hair as deeply as he could as she snuggled against him. As she hooked her leg over his, Kyo wrapped his arm around Tohru’s shoulder and pulled her close, fitting her against his body as though they were made to match each other. If he could stay like this forever, he could. 

And when Tohru answered, “But we can’t stay like this forever, remember?” it took him several slow, agonizing seconds to realize that something was wrong. 

This time he didn’t wake up to a jolt. He woke up slowly, opening his eyes to find he was consumed by darkness - the darkness of reality this time. The reality that was the cold, dank, miserable Cat’s Room. As he lay on his back on the dirt floor, he stared at the ceiling as tears streamed down the sides of his face.

He didn’t need Akito to torture him. His own dreams were enough. 


End file.
